July is a Wasted Month

Summer is riding right along and with July most of the way done I realize that it has been quite a waste of a month. Think about it: you start the month with a big cookout, or cookouts, and a spending spree on a mess of fireworks. Then there is usually a birthday or two that have some form of outside event, because it is the sunny season, and then you pace through the rest of the month trying not to spend any money or time outside. By the time August arrives, you are more than celebrating National Air Conditioning day because it is tremendously hot and your suntan is now sunburn. I know there is nothing to be done about this. We cannot just skip an entire month, but can we at least acknowledge that it is not as enjoyable as everyone makes it out to be. Let’s be honest, warm weather is nice and it makes it easier to do things outside that we couldn’t during colder seasons, but opening up our pool is not fun, it is a new chore. Next year, I fully intend to plan out my July with Spongebob’s Indoors song in mind. I also fully intend to ignore as much “traditional” July fun as possible. With the exception of ice cream. Because ice cream is great no matter what month it is. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Birthdays Don't Hit the Same

It is that time of year again. I grow another year older and everyone makes it seem like a big deal. Almost like one year makes me somehow completely debilitated and incapacitated to do anything for the next year. It wasn’t always like that though. In my youth, birthdays were a time to invite friends and family to celebrate you in a special way. You got to hang out with your cousins that you only saw at Christmas. Balloons, party hats, and cake, but as you get older, it becomes more a razz on how old you are getting. The cake gives you heartburn, the balloons are crazy expensive, and the party hats don’t fit your dome. It is better to almost ignore your birthday and just try to relax most of the day. Although if you work, usually your friends at the office must make a big deal of it so that doesn’t work on those birthdays. Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means complaining. I still enjoy being above ground and look forward to the next year and what it will bring, but I imagine by another 30 or so years, birthdays will have been a dime a dozen, and I will care even less that I am aging like soured milk instead of fine wine. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

By Your Powers Combined

Gooooo Planet!!! That is what I think of every year at this time. April is usually a humdrum sort of month, but we do have Earth Day we can celebrate. What better way to appreciate the planet by just doing some eco-friendly and green things to better the world. Instead, most people forget this is even a holiday and become some of the most un-productive members of society by continuing their nasty ways by littering, driving everywhere they can, and jacking up their AC in their homes. I am by no means an eco-nut, but I do believe that we should all have the capability to come together for one day and appreciate our planet by doing as much as we can to make it better. So this Earth Day turn off the electronics, stay at home if you can, and enjoy life on the Amish side a little. Also recycle if you are able. We only have one Earth, and I like living here so I ask nicely. Captain Planet on the other hand will hunt you down and use his powers to make you comply, regardless of what the 5 kids tell him. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Does This Make Sense?

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many waffles does it take to shingle the roof of a doghouse? First we have to consider the hen and a half. A full hen, sure, but then the half must be the bottom half. Otherwise, how would it lay a half an egg? Then there is the egg and a half. Half an egg? Which half? What if we just made it easy and say in 3 days there would be 3 eggs? Then there wouldn’t be a worry of half an egg leaking out into the nest. That also fixes the day and a half scenario. Who measures in half days? If I say it took me a day, then you can assess 24 hours or 1440 minutes or 86,400 seconds worth of work. However, a half a day is an entirely other set of calculations. All that said, if we look at the roof of the doghouse as a square that is split into two parts, then it is much easier to calculate the number of waffles to cover it, but that raises more questions. How big is the dog? Are we talking small-welled waffles like Eggo, or are we talking large-welled homemade waffles? I guess in the end, if it were raining syrup to cover those waffles, it would be a sticky work day anyway trying to put the roof on. Moreover, I can only eat ¾ of an egg anyway so 50% of the day and a half’s produce would go to waste. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

P.S. Happy April Fool’s Day

Drinking is Not a Sport

Every year at this time, it is a race to the liquor store for the same item. Happy juice, the drink of choice, hard water. Whatever you call it, I am talking about alcohol. Now, I will be the first to tell you, I am not a teetotaler. I imbibe just like everyone else. Well, maybe not like everyone else. I only drink a few. Some, however, have made drinking a sport, and they seriously break a sweat. With New Year’s just a few months ago, you would think the massive hangover would still be lurking in most people’s minds, but it doesn’t. Every year the green is worn and the beer never gets a chance to get warm. People drink like it will be their last time and all for a holiday that was supposed to be a time of cheer to celebrate a man who would probably abstain from gluttony of alcohol. I don’t want to yuck on someone’s yum, though. If you enjoy the day after St. Patty’s Day headache, then, by all means, party ‘till your heart’s content. Just don’t come crying to me when I am able to enjoy my day after because I had a sensible dinner of corn beef hash and cabbage to accompany my delicious beer. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Candy Cannot Fix It

Red hearts, cards, flowers, and a box of nasty chocolate. That solves everything. Or does it. It is simple for most people this time of year. No matter how much of a piece of trash you have been, you can give a gift, a kiss, and an “I love you,” and that makes up for all the wrong-doings. It is hysterical to me when I see a partner putting up with the crap from their significant other 360 days a year and then on a few select holidays, Valentine’s being one of the big ones, these horrible partners all of sudden change for a day. All is forgiven and then it is another marathon to the next holiday. I am here to rant on the fact that this should stop. I am talking to both sides. Abusers: stop being horrible people except “when it matters,” and abusees: stop taking it. We all can do better and deserve better. Now let me slow for a second and say that I am not talking about domestic violence; that is a ramble for an entirely different time, if I could even do justice to any of those very bad situations. What I am talking about is a general nasty person, who is just on the edge of being a complete putrid pile of trash. They wine all the time, never have a beneficial opinion, or contribute in any way that expands a relationship further than two people who engage in coitus once in a while, but you better believe, they are ready on Valentine’s Day for their coitus. I mean after all, they bought flowers and chocolates for their special someone. My opinion is that all people should have partners that value them every day and both people should be willing to give and take in a way that makes a balanced scale of love, affection, and, most of all, appreciation of your forever Valentine. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Soft-Launching a New Year

Happy New Year!!! Also, happy trails to the “I’ll get to it tomorrow” of yesteryear. Tomorrow is here and with the rolling in of the new year, most people attempt to set a goal or two they wish to accomplish in the new year. Then the old trope of unaccomplished resolutions becomes more of a statistic as people fall off the wagon after about 3 weeks. For me, New Year’s resolutions are always a trial-and-error situation all year long as I may fall off, but I do get back on. I feel that it is not about if you have failed or not, it is about the fact you keep trying all year long and then re-evaluate your situation toward the end of the year. It is more like a soft launch with an easy landing if it all goes to hell, than it is an ultimatum followed by a downtrodden diary entry of “I wish I could have kept going.” I am not saying that all resolutions can be done this way. In fact, most resolutions are a do-or-die with no in-between. I am also not saying that all resolutions are even possible. Honestly, there is no easy way to lose 200 pounds in 365 days. What I am saying is that if we phrase the resolution in a tone of “Let’s see how far I can get”, instead of a “I do it or else,” then maybe, just maybe, we will be happier come December 31^st knowing that we may not have fully succeeded, but we sure did try our best. Besides even if you have been dry all year, New Year’s Eve is just more fun with a drink in hand. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Merry FestiKwanYuleHanamas

Holiday greetings and gay, happy meetings when friends come to call. Words of a carol have never rung so hard. The issue comes when people get so disheveled at what a holiday greeting should be. My family is bad for this. To my parents, it is “Merry Christmas” or nothing. They absolutely despise the idea of saying “Seasons Greetings” or “Happy Holidays.” I then have to explain that it is something most companies do as a measure to not offend anyone. Which is where my ramble starts. Why do we have to worry about offending people with a holiday greeting. I think everyone should say their holiday greeting, whatever that should be. If I say “Merry Christmas” to you, then by all means say “Happy Kwanzaa” back to me. I will take no offense because you did not wish me my holiday be happy. In the same sense, you should not feel upset because I do not know what you celebrate. Honestly, we all need to settle down about how we send cheer. It is not about religion or freedoms of speech or any other thing like that. It is simply one person trying to make another person’s day a little better by passing on festive spirit, because the holidays is no time for downtrodden feelings. So, to all my ramble readers, may your days be merry, may your candles burn all 8 days, may your ancestors get much gratitude, may your log stay hot, and may your pole stay silver. This year lets all have a great holiday, greeting people with a gay, happy smile. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Turkey Companies Cashing In

If you are like me, food shopping for the holidays is always a tear-jerking, soul-smashing, pocket-destroying mess of a time. Every year to prep for Turkey Day and Christmas, a massive grocery list is made so that we can get everything we need for said holidays. Then, as we are packing it into our freezers and refrigerators, I look at the receipt and nearly have a heart attack at how much was actually spent. Food prices are crazy! I understand it is impossible to buy an entire Thanksgiving meal with $10, but it amazes me that turkey companies are able to sleep at night for the price of some of this meat. Even the “knock-off” turkey brands are steeper than I feel they should be. My family usually enjoys a ham at Christmas, but those aren’t cheaper either. Honestly, it would just be easier to make all the sides and go meatless for the holidays. Rolls, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie; who would even miss the turkey. I see now why Charlie Brown’s crew ate popcorn, jelly beans, pretzel sticks, and toast. Their allowance just would not cover the cost. The worst part is, the meat companies don’t care in the slightest. Instead of trying to find a way to make it cheaper for the farmers to provide their meat, thereby making the market price lower, they just “adjust for inflation” and watch us buy it anyway. If a meatless holiday boycott is what it takes for these companies to realize we are sick of their wild price race, then so be it. Besides, kids will definitely eat their veggies if they are smothered in gravy. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Don't Give Out Raisins

Trick or treat, smell my feet, here’s a ramble that can’t be beat, or something like that. Halloween is here and I cannot believe the conversation that I had with a parent a few days ago. Instead of giving out candy, this person was buying raisins to give out to the local candy grabbers because she did not want to contribute to the obesity problem in America. The conversation arose when she saw my shopping cart full of candy and wondered what I was going to do with it all. I explained that I was the hit of the neighborhood for giving out full sized candy bars and not those fun-sized jokes. She could not believe that I was being so irresponsible with the neighbor’s children. I had to hold back laughter as I listened to her explanation of why she had raisins in her cart. Let’s get something straight here. The obesity problem is not going to be fixed by not giving out candy at your house. In fact, it will probably not have an effect at all, because you will be known as the raisin witch of the neighborhood. Kids will avoid your house, and they will still be able to come to houses like mine and stock up on the good stuff. Honestly folks, it’s one day a year. What is the harm in having a fun-filled night of terror, tooth rot, and mild regret for the next day as kids fill up their pillowcases and plastic pumpkins, eat way too much candy, and possibly wet themselves from all the haunted houses they will visit. You are only young once and no child wants raisins, apples, toothbrushes, or pennies for Halloween. Otherwise, there may be a good egging and a roll of toilet paper in one particular house’s future. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Over-celebrating is Just Annoying

With the recent ending of Independence Day, I have had an epiphany: people over-celebrate holidays. I am not just talking about having too much fun or spending too much, which are potential problems in themselves. What I am talking about are the people who take a concept of a holiday and blow it out of proportion. Like on the 4^th, fireworks are great. The booms and pops are cathartic to our idea of celebration. If nothing else, they break up chest congestion from summer allergies, but they should be done on the 4^th and no other time. However, what usually happens, as with this past week, is it is a 10-day long affair of every night being kept awake by those very same booms and pops. To put it into perspective for those who cannot legally buy and set off fireworks, it would be like if you had to have candy ready for the entire week of Halloween. Which may sound great to the candy-collecting gremlins, but most everyone else would have the thought of, “Why can’t we just celebrate this on one day and move on?” That is the way all holidays should be. 1 or 2 days and move on without any leftover effects. It would be like if we painted our houses green for St. Patrick’s Day. We may love St. Patrick’s Day, our Irish heritage, and even drinking, but we don’t want our houses green all year. Or if Christmas was an entire week of giving presents every day. I’m pretty sure that is already a thing. So, next year, when the anniversary of the U.S. having a Twisted Sister moment comes around, let’s all make a pact to only buy enough fireworks for one night and one night only. Because I for one will enjoy the extra sleep this time next year. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Don't Forget to Wear Green

“I am wearing green underwear!!! Stop pinching me!!!” Ah, but they couldn’t see the green and that is why you got pinched on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s amazing the traditions that we have worked into our holidays every year. Some are odd like what foods we eat or hiding eggs at Easter, but some are barbaric, like the aforementioned pinching because of lack of green attire. Some are useful like giving coal to bad children at Christmas, because those parents don’t have to worry the first 10 years of their children’s lives about misbehavior or about being cold. While others are a waste of supplies like the “tricks” of Halloween in TP-ing and the throwing of eggs. Of course, Halloween has a whole mess of wild traditions. Carving Jack-o-Lanterns, dressing up, chewing on crusty balls of popcorn. It is just not my jam. Let’s not forget, like all the stores do, about giving thanks by stuffing our faces with a multitude of delectable fares. There are nice ones as well, like turning off all electrical appliances for an hour on Earth Day. I guess anything can become a tradition with enough time and if everyone is in agreeance. So, with that thought in mind, what group agreed to pinch the hell out of each other if we weren’t wearing green. It seems so simple to not come up with that idea. In fact, any other idea would have probably been better than that one. Maybe, one day, everyone will agree to do something nicer like buy the person a green bracelet. And even though everyone reading this cannot see me, just know I am indeed wearing green at all times just in case a surprise St. Patrick’s Day comes and I don’t realize it. Because I like not having bruises on my skin from the vindictive creeps that find pleasure in having finger strength. Besides green goes with my leprechaun red hair anyway. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Let's All Get Out There

It’s that time of year again. The time for super-sweet chocolates, overpriced flowers, big fancy dinners, and the colors red and pink. It is also a time for introverts to add an extra layer of protection from anyone getting near them. I find this very odd, because I have been told by introverted friends of mine that it would be so nice to celebrate Valentine’s with a significant other. Unfortunately, it is hard to have the best of both worlds. A world where you don’t put yourself out there, but also get a person close enough to you to celebrate the holiday of romance. Fortunately, I have a solution and it is really, really simple. Just like the bullies who seem to have no problem being faceless names behind typed words, introverts have an outlet to get themselves started on a journey of social interaction. I have been told that it can be unnerving to try to make new friends as an introvert, and it is completely out of the question to just walk up and ask someone on a date. However, with social media and some decent typing skills, my friends have started testing the waters of interacting with new people and just having a good time chatting someone up. They have slowly become more extraverted because of this. One of my friends has even found someone who was as introverted as they were, connected with that person over it, and now they hang out in person. So, this Valentine’s Day let’s all get out there and meet new people. Not for any particular reason, except to enjoy the company of others, and, with any luck, find someone who is just as oblivious to Valentine’s Day as we are so that we can bond over how gross the holiday really is. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

My Follow-Through Sucks

New Year’s resolutions are a tradition dating back to the ancient Babylonians that would pray to their gods that they may succeed in one manner or another. Usually this meant moving up in class, beating their next opponent, gaining extended knowledge, or even just good crops the next growing season. In today’s time, it usually means a weight loss or financial goal. The key word for me is “goal.” When you set a goal, especially one that is very high-barred, there is already tremors of failure. I personally do not set resolutions, if only because the crushing sound of defeat after six months is just too much for my ego. So, instead, I opt for accomplishments. In other words, every time I manage to get something done I celebrate, and I don’t worry about what I didn’t get accomplished. That way it is only good times when something actually gets done, and, with my procrastination habits, sometimes it does take a while. However, I encourage everyone to follow this method. Because it definitely is more fun than being depressed about what you didn’t get accomplished. Although, for some, it may be difficult because they are that successful and accomplish so much they would celebrate every day. Although celebrating every day, greatly accomplished or just muddling along, is a goal I fully stand behind resolutely. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Dieting On Holidays

It’s that time of year again. The time of year for delicious foods and decadent treats for all to enjoy. The time of year where we all have that one relative that we have to hide those foods and treats from because they don’t want to be tempted. My response to those people is always the same. Why torture yourself during the holidays? With all the dinners, office parties, get-togethers, and shopping we have to do, it is not easy to stick to your dietary essentials and be happy at the same time. In fact, I believe it’s the reason Ebenezer was so miserable. He was trying to keep his miserly figure and everyone kept giving him gift baskets. I have a rule for the last three months of the year and it is simply: Why bother? I start about a week before Halloween. I go in knowing that I am going to overindulge. When I get done Trick-or-Treating and checking my haul for razor blades, I immediately start eating some of it, especially if there is a 3 Musketeers in the mix. Then comes Thanksgiving. I know there is no way I will be able to keep my wits with warm stuffing, sweet yams, buttery mashed potatoes, extra creamy green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie with extra whip cream on the top. Then I turn around twice and it’s Christmas. I start December 1^st with a cookie in my hand. By the end of Christmas, I will have gained at least 15 pounds and will proudly display it knowing that I fully enjoyed my holidays with gusto. In fact, I usually don’t stop until around February because New Year’s is basically a drinking game, which is more calories. Luckily I don’t have a lover, so I don’t have to worry about chocolates on Valentines, which is why I find it a good time to stop. So, this year, take my advice. Let’s all celebrate the birth of Christ by sinning our asses off by being major gluttons and being damn proud of it. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Stuffing vs. Dressing

It’s a debate as old as time. An argument almost as old as white meat vs dark meat. Is it called stuffing, or is it called dressing? Some folks believe it is a regional thing and depending on where you are from it is called different names. Others believe it is a texture thing. Stuffing being a little more moist and scoopable while dressing is a little drier. It is more crispy and cuttable and in definite need of gravy. Still some believe it relies on what it is made of with different ingredients placing it in either a stuffing or a dressing category. I choose to believe it has to do with whether or not it is placed in the bird. Where stuffing is, in fact, stuffed in the bird and dressing is packed into a pan and baked alone. Either way, as far as synonyms go, it can’t get more delicious than a fresh steaming serving of bready, herby side dish. So regardless of what it’s called, enjoy every bite this Thanksgiving and remind everyone to be thankful for a good food debate. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Color Pencils Cost How Much?

It’s back-to-school time again and you know what that means. It is time to burn money on school supplies as a price for getting rid of your kids for 7 hours a day. However, I don’t think this has to be the case and, with the right attitudes, we can all get through this shopping spree with intact wallets. The best way to address this is by focusing individually on each group involved. So that is exactly what I am going to do.

First the teachers. Ladies and gentlemen of the education professions, can we please shorten that list of back-to-school supplies “needed” for the classroom. Be honest, does each child need to bring 3 packs of crayons and 8 reams of paper. How about you sit down and really break down exactly what you need for a school year to go relatively smoothly and give that list to the parents. It has to be remembered that the original teachers had one blackboard and a piece of chalk and they did just fine.

Second, the parents. Laymen and laywomen can we please stop with the overspending on your kids. I know they are precious to you and I know that you want the best for them, but they do not need 128 Crayola color pencils and Gucci pants. A nice 12 pack of RoseArt and a pair of Levi’s will suffice. Back-to-school time for me meant the absolute necessities that I did not already have for school supplies and 2 new outfits. At least until I got old enough to buy my own stuff, but that is a different ramble. Oh, and, yes, recycling the school supplies was a big goal every year. If there was a half-used notebook at the end of one year, then the other half got used the next year. I would just buy replacement lead for the mechanical pencils instead of a new pack. Also, you would not believe how much school supplies are thrown away at the end of every year by the students. Tell your child to be on the lookout for locker cleanout day and be the trash collector. You will never buy school supplies again.

Lastly the children. Wonderful children of the world hear me. I know that childhood can be difficult and I know that new things are nice. However, you need to know that your parents are not made of money and you are a great help when you are not so needy. By the time you folks are 10 or 12, you should be making every effort to make your parents lives easier when back-to-school time comes. Your parents will appreciate it and you will become a more independent individual if you start finding creative ways to save a little dough at back-to-school time. Maybe skip out on that fancy Spider-man pencil case or that Barbie-Core backpack and get the plain Jane ones instead.

Overall, back-to-school does not have to be a massive money pit. It can, with a little effort and some ingenuity, be a simple and cost-effective process that still allows for learning to occur. Because that is the point of back-to-school. You know, to go back to school. Most cities offer it for free after all. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

No Arm Candy, No Problem

With Valentine’s Day in full swing, I thought it would be a good time to talk about dating. Dating – that thing people do where they waste a little money on someone who may or may not end up being their life partner, but they will probably share a bed tonight, conscience or not. All joking aside, it has always been funny to me that people try the dating game and never stop playing it. What I mean is, they feel like they always have to be dating someone. They try with one partner – give them gifts, hang out, play with some genitals, and then one person or the other decides it is not working, so they move on. And I mean literally the next minute. It is like they have someone else in mind before they’ve even broken up with the previous person. I find it sad to watch some of the people I know go through this. I tell them, “Just let it happen naturally. Stop trying to actively find someone.” But they never listen, and the next week, here they come with another partner and want me to get to know the person (which I know is completely pointless). If you are reading this, you probably know someone like this. Hell, you yourself may be that person. All of this is especially true around Valentine’s Day. It’s as if they are going to the class reunion and have to impress everyone with what they’ve done with their life. They want to make sure that they are locked in for the “Big V Day”. It’s not a horse race folks. There are no bets involved. You are not going to lose anything by being single. You do not have to be dating someone, I don’t care what day it is. How about learning who you are first. Then try to find someone that matches you. Don’t just keep blindly throwing the dart at the board just because you think it looks good. You might put someone’s eye out. Then they will literally be throwing blind. I myself am a happy bachelor. I look around once in a while and I do play the field now and again. But I don’t worry about if I am attached to anyone, because I still have a long life ahead. I know who I am and I know who would match me well. When I find that person, I hope that they are looking too and we meet in the middle. But until then that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

My Time So Far

 Normally this time of year, the end I mean, most people give a year in review sort of thing where they talk about the year and what it has meant to them and so forth. However, I have not been on the platform for an entire year yet so I will talk about my time so far. So far, I have enjoyed this process. The process of writing a little piece of something to share with an audience and doing it every week. It becomes a routine that is not hard to follow and keeps someone like me motivated to keep doing it. I have enjoyed the way this platform allows me to post damn near anything I wish without questioning it. Whether or not anyone reads these is irrelevant because I did not do this to prove a point, I did this to ramble and ramble I have. I have shared my opinion on a few things and have hopefully given a few people a few things to think about. My hope is that anyone who has read these will evaluate their day to day and see that sometimes the world is just another person’s opinion. So go have your own, ramble a little, and please make your point already! But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Holiday Traditions Your Way

 Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Every creature was stirring, and even the mouse

Hanging signs saying “Of Krampus Beware,

And hoping St. Nicholas soon would be there

The children stayed up all night

In their tradition of getting Santa in sight

While mama and I cleaned up dishes

From the barbeque earlier of our wishes

And out on the lawn there were chairs spread out

For the parade we watched, it was fun, no doubt

The kids had their shoe on the windowsill

In jest really, but who knows still

Where we are, there is much snow

So we build a snowman before the sun makes him go

And our neighbors to the east

Played a game of dreidel after their feast

Many friends have Nativity scenes on their yards

With the Wisemen standing post like guards

Some sing carols of reindeer of eight

While others sing of a ninth so great

Name them we shall for our holiday cheer

Because writing them is hard, their names are quite queer

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen

Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen

And Rudolph the ninth of the team

Really the headlight of the crew, red nose on high beam

Many candles are lit and trees all a-glow

There is nothing amiss here, you know

Perhaps red, green, and black are your forte

And gathering to reflect on the principle of the day

Or even fireworks may explode

Man what a way to unload

Cookies are baked, latkes are served

Your holiday vacation from work is deserved

Is the turkey all set to bake

Or are you simply having a little cake

Many deserts to be had

Sweet, warm, decadent, and none of it bad

Spending time with relatives can be a strain

But for some it is the point and there is no pain

Do you have servants and maids and the sorts

Perhaps you have Boxing Day for your cohorts

We will exchange gifts with glee

And hopefully give many happily

Whatever traditions are yours and your family’s

Enjoy them with utmost gusto and some laughs please

Because at day’s end, your fun is important

And making yearly habits that will take plant

And being together with people you care for

Can make the holidays not seem like a such a chore

Make your own traditions and worry not about the rest

Because your holidays become great if filled with great jest

But that is just one man’s opinion to be had

Thanks for listening to me ramble, it makes me so glad

I appreciate your moment for my insight

So until next time, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night