The News Is Irrelevant

Before it is even brought up, the title of this ramble is not referring to “fake news.” That is a buzz phrase that I wish would exit the zeitgeist. News is not “fake” at any time. It may be uninformed, it may be misguided, but it cannot be “fake.” The fact that someone took the time to gather any information and spread it makes it real. However, news can be irrelevant. It can be completely unrelated to anything anyone wants to know, and it can also be something that is completely useless to tell. In the old days these sorts of news stories were referred to as “puff pieces.” Bits of news or even entire stories that were simply used to fill the airtime as there was not enough relevant news to talk about. It was “fluff” in between important stories. Things like a dog learning to ride a skateboard, or a child hugging their mailman. This was all well and nice to have a feel-good moment when most of the other news was probably either weather or crisis. Currently, this is exactly the way news works. There is great drama and danger and negativity, then a “puff piece,” and then back to more drama and negative news. What ends up making news irrelevant is when there is so much fluff because news stations want to spread positivity that it is more like watching an episode of America’s Funniest Videos than it is watching the news. There is so much unimportant rabble in the news that we end up only watching the weather section. By no means am I saying this is a bad thing inherently, but there is a point where the viewers want actual news that means something to our day to day lives so that we can be informed. Otherwise, we will ask Google what happened yesterday and then tune over and watch our sitcoms while the news tries to be one. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

By Your Powers Combined

Gooooo Planet!!! That is what I think of every year at this time. April is usually a humdrum sort of month, but we do have Earth Day we can celebrate. What better way to appreciate the planet by just doing so eco-friendly and green things to better the world. Instead, most people forget this is even a holiday and become some of the most un-productive members of society by continuing their nasty ways by littering, driving everywhere they can, and jacking up their AC in their homes. I am by no means an eco-nut, but I do believe that we should all have the capability to come together for one day and appreciate our planet by doing as much as we can to make it better. So this Earth Day turn off the electronics, stay at home if you can, and enjoy life on the Amish side a little. Also recycle if you are able. We only have one Earth, and I like living here so I ask nicely. Captain Planet on the other hand will hunt you down and use his powers to make you comply, regardless of what the 5 kids tell him. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Does This Make Sense?

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many waffles does it take to shingle the roof of a doghouse? First we have to consider the hen and a half. A full hen, sure, but then the half must be the bottom half. Otherwise, how would it lay a half an egg? Then there is the egg and a half. Half an egg? Which half? What if we just made it easy and say in 3 days there would be 3 eggs? Then there wouldn’t be a worry of half an egg leaking out into the nest. That also fixes the day and a half scenario. Who measures in half days? If I say it took me a day, then you can assess 24 hours or 1440 minutes or 86,400 seconds worth of work. However, a half a day is an entirely other set of calculations. All that said, if we look at the roof of the doghouse as a square that is split into two parts, then it is much easier to calculate the number of waffles to cover it, but that raises more questions. How big is the dog? Are we talking small-welled waffles like Eggo, or are we talking large-welled homemade waffles? I guess in the end, if it were raining syrup to cover those waffles, it would be a sticky work day anyway trying to put the roof on. Moreover, I can only eat ¾ of an egg anyway so 50% of the day and a half’s produce would go to waste. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

P.S. Happy April Fool’s Day