Food Geometry

Have you ever noticed that certain foods have certain shapes. It is something I call food geometry and I really do believe it exists. For instance, pies are circles, loaves of bread are rectangular prisms, Doritos are triangles, bananas are oblong, and apples are a sphere with a dent.  They are shapes we have come to admire in certain foods and I think the most relevant part of that is that a particular shape makes us feel a particular way. There is nothing better than getting a perfectly round orange, even if they are cute little Halos, because you know that orange is going to be delicious. And if you asked most people what shape foods should come in, they would respond with the shape they know to be most true for that given food. However, there are a few people who do not get the idea of food geometry and totally break the rules with their non-conformist anarchy. Pizza should be a circle cut into triangles or a quadrilateral cut into smaller quadrilaterals. It should not be cut in diagonal pieces. Sandwiches should be cut into triangles or half-squares. I don’t care how much crust you remove, you should never have a round or heart-shaped sandwich. It should always come as close to that triangle or half-square shape as possible. Do not mess with food geometry people. Demeter and Euclid might team up and beat the crap out of you if you do. Let us keep our food shapes without worry of experimentation. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.