Don't Forget to Wear Green

“I am wearing green underwear!!! Stop pinching me!!!” Ah, but they couldn’t see the green and that is why you got pinched on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s amazing the traditions that we have worked into our holidays every year. Some are odd like what foods we eat or hiding eggs at Easter, but some are barbaric, like the aforementioned pinching because of lack of green attire. Some are useful like giving coal to bad children at Christmas, because those parents don’t have to worry the first 10 years of their children’s lives about misbehavior or about being cold. While others are a waste of supplies like the “tricks” of Halloween in TP-ing and the throwing of eggs. Of course, Halloween has a whole mess of wild traditions. Carving Jack-o-Lanterns, dressing up, chewing on crusty balls of popcorn. It is just not my jam, or let’s not forget, like all the stores do, about giving thanks by stuffing our faces with a multitude of delectable fares. There are nice ones as well, like turning off all electrical appliances for an hour on Earth Day. I guess anything can become a tradition with enough time and if everyone is in agreeance. So, with that thought in mind, what group agreed to pinch the hell out of each other if we weren’t wearing green. It seems so simple to not come up with that idea. In fact, any other idea would have probably been better than that one. Maybe, one day, everyone will agree to do something nicer like buy the person a green bracelet. And even though everyone reading this cannot see me, just know I am indeed wearing green at all times just in case a surprise St. Patrick’s Day comes and I don’t realize it. Because I like not having bruises on my skin from the vindictive creeps that find pleasure in having finger strength. Besides green goes with my leprechaun red hair anyway. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.