Dieting On Holidays

It’s that time of year again. The time of year for delicious foods and decadent treats for all to enjoy. The time of year where we all have that one relative that we have to hide those foods and treats from because they don’t want to be tempted. My response to those people is always the same. Why torture yourself during the holidays? With all the dinners, office parties, get-togethers, and shopping we have to do, it is not easy to stick to your dietary essentials and be happy at the same time. In fact, I believe it’s the reason Ebenezer was so miserable. He was trying to keep his miserly figure and everyone kept giving him gift baskets. I have a rule for the last three months of the year and it is simply: Why bother? I start about a week before Halloween. I go in knowing that I am going to overindulge. When I get done Trick-or-Treating and checking my haul for razor blades, I immediately start eating some of it, especially if there is a 3 Musketeers in the mix. Then comes Thanksgiving. I know there is no way I will be able to keep my wits with warm stuffing, sweet yams, buttery mashed potatoes, extra creamy green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie with extra whip cream on the top. Then I turn around twice and it’s Christmas. I start December 1^st with a cookie in my hand. By the end of Christmas, I will have gained at least 15 pounds and will proudly display it knowing that I fully enjoyed my holidays with gusto. In fact, I usually don’t stop until around February because New Year’s is basically a drinking game, which is more calories. Luckily I don’t have a lover, so I don’t have to worry about chocolates on Valentines, which is why I find it a good time to stop. So, this year, take my advice. Let’s all celebrate the birth of Christ by sinning our asses off by being major gluttons and being damn proud of it. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.