The Worst Song Ever Made

I can still hear it now. The noises of the singer as he tries to imitate every animal known to him. Then he gets to the sound a fox makes and literally makes something up. It is a trend in music since the beginning that, every now and then, a song has to be made just for the hell of it. Sometimes it is nonsensical, sometimes it is barely a song, but someone makes it and it usually becomes a one-hit wonder that is played at every prom, wedding, and drunken office party. The modern era sees this occur more often too because people are trying harder and harder to experiment with the sounds an audience will call music. However, as I said this is not something that is a modern trend. It has been going on since the beginning of music. The ancient civilizations played around with how fast they could bang a leather drum and keep in time. Then pieces of metal were smashed together and that was deemed musical. Beethoven liked the sound of “The Ode to Joy.” People in the south scrubbed their washboards and blew into jugs. The roaring 20’s had improvisation in jazz and artists like Coltraine played as fast as possible until it was just noise out of a brass instrument. In the 90’s, Daft Punk brought electronic music to us all. Death metal was a thing in the Aughts. Even all the way up to the current part of the 21^st century where we have people like Psy bringing it “Gangnam Style” and a dude making “fox” noises. So where does all of this lead. Well, I guess all I can say is that the worst song has not been made yet. I mean, if we as a civilization can endure all that and still want more, if music artists are still willing to try to make trash cans an instrument, if consumers still buy an album just because a certain musician is attached to it, then I guess we still have a while to go before music just becomes unpalatable. My only hope is that the taste never goes to a place of silent music where we just listen to the dust move in an old studio. Otherwise, this guy might just stick to the oldies, or by that time what will be deemed classical music. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

A Money-back Guarantee and a Coupon

I am going to level with you, I like a good deal, and, doing what I do for a living, when I hear about a service that can save me a little extra cash when I shop, I am all for it. However, the old saying of “If it’s too good to be true, it usually is” always seems to pop up every time I try to save a few dollars. The perfect example is the cash back service Honey. Essentially, it claims to be able to save you money when you do your normal shopping on websites like Amazon and Walmart by finding the best coupons for those sites. It also claims to give you cash back when you shop on certain sites. Now I am not one to try something for a week and then give up. I have put Honey through its due diligence. In fact, I have used it for almost 3 years now, and I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, IT IS A RIPOFF! For 3 years I have tried to use it repeatedly, and repeatedly it tells me it cannot find coupons for my stuff. In those 3 years, I have only saved about $25 on all of my shopping, and, honestly, that is probably a stretch. I also really love when I get to the payout screen and it will not even activate at all. It pops up a little bubble next to my merchandise and says “BEST DEAL.” I know it’s the best deal. Of course, it’s the best deal. I just spent 30 minutes trying to find the best deal. I don’t need your help with that. Thanks Honey. Anyway, maybe I am just not using right. Maybe the products I need and want are just not things that have deals on them. By all means, though, try it out for yourself. I will leave a link at the bottom, and just a heads up, if you use this link to sign up for Honey, it does pay me because then I am an affiliate of Honey. I guess that really is the gimmick though isn’t it. Get one sucker to get other suckers to sign up and then pay the first sucker chump change for his effort. It is just not my bag, but, as they say press on and power through. With any luck, I can still clip coupons the old-fashioned way with my Sunday paper. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

 

Link: https://www.joinhoney.com/ref/hfj7bky

Don't Forget to Wear Green

“I am wearing green underwear!!! Stop pinching me!!!” Ah, but they couldn’t see the green and that is why you got pinched on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s amazing the traditions that we have worked into our holidays every year. Some are odd like what foods we eat or hiding eggs at Easter, but some are barbaric, like the aforementioned pinching because of lack of green attire. Some are useful like giving coal to bad children at Christmas, because those parents don’t have to worry the first 10 years of their children’s lives about misbehavior or about being cold. While others are a waste of supplies like the “tricks” of Halloween in TP-ing and the throwing of eggs. Of course, Halloween has a whole mess of wild traditions. Carving Jack-o-Lanterns, dressing up, chewing on crusty balls of popcorn. It is just not my jam, or let’s not forget, like all the stores do, about giving thanks by stuffing our faces with a multitude of delectable fares. There are nice ones as well, like turning off all electrical appliances for an hour on Earth Day. I guess anything can become a tradition with enough time and if everyone is in agreeance. So, with that thought in mind, what group agreed to pinch the hell out of each other if we weren’t wearing green. It seems so simple to not come up with that idea. In fact, any other idea would have probably been better than that one. Maybe, one day, everyone will agree to do something nicer like buy the person a green bracelet. And even though everyone reading this cannot see me, just know I am indeed wearing green at all times just in case a surprise St. Patrick’s Day comes and I don’t realize it. Because I like not having bruises on my skin from the vindictive creeps that find pleasure in having finger strength. Besides green goes with my leprechaun red hair anyway. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Don't Try To Change Me

It is a great world we live in and more specifically the US of A is a wonderful free land where we can do whatever we want, within reason. We eat what we want, wear what we want, we can start any kind of business we want, and, most importantly, we are free to believe what we want to believe. However, in every barrel of apples, there is that one rotten apple that tries to sour the rest. I am talking about those people who try to change our beliefs just because they do not agree with them. They run around all day on a mission to call into question our daily routines and then shame us for them. I speak before you today and say, “Please STOP!!!” I don’t just mean one opinion or another. I am speaking to everyone, in every group. Stop trying to change people. If you have cut out meat and all animal by-products from your life because of dietary restrictions or because you can’t stomach the idea of where that slab of meat actually came from, then kudos. I am happy for you and good luck with your culinary endeavors, but do not try to shame me for my greasy, full-dairy cheeseburger. Just get in line, order your Impossible burger with vegan cheese, and leave me alone. Also, many of us are not that religious. In fact, most of us view a church as a place to get in on a free cook-out. I would love to have the extra time to sit and read pieces of a book, and then once I finished it, go back and read again that same book every day for the rest of my life. However, I am a very busy man, with a day full of activities, and I do not have the capacity to have a read-a-long with King James every day. It is just simply not in the cards for me. So praise Jesus, God bless you, go away. Lastly, it was established in this country two centuries ago the right to choose which party you wanted to hang with. One of the greatest freedoms of this country is the right to vote for whoever you wish. Donkey, elephant, or other, we as civilians should not be shamed for our particular candidate, even if they are bat-crap crazy. It is nobodies’ business but our own and the electoral college whose name is on our docket when we throw it in the box. Superman fought for truth, justice, and the American way. It is difficult to think of anyone as a Superman for their cause when they are bashing the last of those three morals. Because the American way is the freedom to do, live, and believe anyway we feel the urge. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.