The Worst Song Ever Made

I can still hear it now. The noises of the singer as he tries to imitate every animal known to him. Then he gets to the sound a fox makes and literally makes something up. It is a trend in music since the beginning that, every now and then, a song has to be made just for the hell of it. Sometimes it is nonsensical, sometimes it is barely a song, but someone makes it and it usually becomes a one-hit wonder that is played at every prom, wedding, and drunken office party. The modern era sees this occur more often too because people are trying harder and harder to experiment with the sounds an audience will call music. However, as I said this is not something that is a modern trend. It has been going on since the beginning of music. The ancient civilizations played around with how fast they could bang a leather drum and keep in time. Then pieces of metal were smashed together and that was deemed musical. Beethoven liked the sound of “The Ode to Joy.” People in the south scrubbed their washboards and blew into jugs. The roaring 20’s had improvisation in jazz and artists like Coltraine played as fast as possible until it was just noise out of a brass instrument. In the 90’s, Daft Punk brought electronic music to us all. Death metal was a thing in the Aughts. Even all the way up to the current part of the 21^st century where we have people like Psy bringing it “Gangnam Style” and a dude making “fox” noises. So where does all of this lead. Well, I guess all I can say is that the worst song has not been made yet. I mean, if we as a civilization can endure all that and still want more, if music artists are still willing to try to make trash cans an instrument, if consumers still buy an album just because a certain musician is attached to it, then I guess we still have a while to go before music just becomes unpalatable. My only hope is that the taste never goes to a place of silent music where we just listen to the dust move in an old studio. Otherwise, this guy might just stick to the oldies, or by that time what will be deemed classical music. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.