Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Helping Comes In Different Shapes?

“Help me! Help me!” Said every damsel in distress ever, but does she really want the help or are you just not what she was expecting for help. It is a hot take of mine that if you ask for help from someone then you cannot dictate how that person helps you. For instance, you ask a friend to help you move and then you want them to move a 200-pound box, or you ask for assistance with painting a room but you want the helper to be there to do it at 7:30 in the morning. That is not how helping works. Your friend can only lift so much and your helper will come assist in the painting but you should have already started before they get there, if they come at all. In saying all this I am not saying that if the person is doing a bad job at helping you have to keep using their services. It is perfectly okay to ask them to stop helping and never ask them for assistance again. Also, on a side note, this does not apply to a situation where they are not doing it “your” way. Everyone has a way of doing things and as long as the job gets done without too much hassle you do not get to tell your helper how to do the job nor are you able to get frustrated because “your way is better.” However, there is a reverse to this hot take. That reverse applies if the potential assistant volunteers to help. They are offering their services so you get to direct them however you see fit. By volunteering, they are asking you how they can assist and that is your queue to dictate away. And to all the volunteers out there don’t offer your help unless you really mean it. No one needs that kind of half-assed, barely care, it was just an empty gesture kind of help that doesn’t actually get things done easier or faster. I truly believe that if people would follow these rules mindfully, then everyone would get the help they needed and friendships wouldn’t be ruined by one stress-filled day of help giving or help receiving all because someone is a micromanager. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

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