Helicopter Parents - This One's For You

There is nothing that grinds my gears more than watching a child’s formative years be burned away by a hovering parent that doesn’t know when to step back. As a victim of that type of parenting, let me tell you, it is not conducive to a productive young individual. If a child never has any small freedoms during that time when they are supposed to be growing up and learning what it means to be an adult, how are they supposed to know what they can and cannot physically, mentally, and willfully do. For instance, if a teenager wants to go to the movies on a weekend with some friends and, as the taxi driver, which is all you should be, you decide to watch the movie with them, how is that teenager supposed to learn what kind of person they are when they are by themselves. Leave the kid alone. Let them be them, by themselves, with their friends. Another great example is giving a teen some small tasks to handle on their own. This is not always looked at as a freedom, but it really is. Think about it. They are “free” to do a task without being micromanaged. The parent is giving them the freedom to do the task how they think it needs done and the only input they get is the final “okay” or “try again” from the parent. This is formative in helping a young adult learn how to work a job. They are not always micromanaged at a job. They are given the task to be completed and then the manager decides if it is good enough. If the teen never learns to think on their own, because the parent is there walking them through every step, then the teen never gets the hang of doing a job by themselves. This can easily get them fired. It is really simple advice helicopter parents – if your child is around 11 to 16 years old, they need to start learning what it means to be a person standing on their own two feet. It is the only true way to grow into an adult. Because there may come a time where mommy or daddy isn’t standing there ready to fix what’s broken. So let them go to the movies by themselves. Then they can decide what they want to watch and how it affects them. Let them decide when bedtime is. I know as an adult, I go to bed at a decent hour, so that I can get up and be productive the next day. Let them do the chores their way. You may not always agree with how it got done, but maybe, in the end, the final result was good enough. Overall, the role of a parent is to teach kids how to be an adult and this cannot be done if a few small freedoms aren’t allowed to creep in to the day-to-day routine. Eventually your kid will start to volunteer to be independent. Just remember they will be fine, even if the helicopter takes off. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Lost Vocabulary

Have you ever been talking with someone, maybe even a close friend and you say a word and they stop you because they didn’t know what the word meant? That happened to me the other day. Me and a friend were talking about a celebrity and they said something about how sexy the celebrity was. I replied with, “Yeah, but they tend to show it to everyone all the time.” They replied with, “So, more to look at,” and I said, “Gone were the days of people leaving something to the imagination and making themselves appear sultry.” They did not know what “sultry” meant. I explained that it is synonymous with our current “sexy” except it means in a more subtle way that makes you want the person more. It also got me thinking about how many older words I use every day, because I am weird, that many of the modern generations do not use or even know the meaning too. I wonder, is it because we are losing words to the void? I mean that is not to say that I know all the words and slang that is being thrown around with the younger crowd, but I think the scales are tipped in my favor of how many words they don’t know from years past. Words that do not necessarily take a large vocabulary to use or even have within your grasp. Words like comely, lexicon, dreary, etc. I can understand some words being lost. Words that have to do with yesteryear’s technology for example. I do not expect a 17-year-old to know what a beeper or 8-track is. But some words are lost even though they still exist everywhere. Like my much younger cousin did not know what an encyclopedia was. When I explained that it was a lot of information in one book, he said, “So, Google on paper.” I can understand why he didn’t know what an encyclopedia did, but he should have at least known the word “encyclopedia” existed. It’s like someone who has never known the word for the color blue still knows what blue is. I guess there is hope in the current trend of bringing many words back with new meanings. It will be hard for us of the older generation, because we will still think of the old meanings. Like I know Fortnite is a game, but I also know it doesn’t take 2 weeks to play one round. Then again, maybe the younger crowd will take sympathy on the older generations and we can all meet somewhere in the middle. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Fetishes are Fine

Let me start off by saying that I think Fifty Shades of Grey is a stupid set of books and movies. They take a thing that many people have and oversexualize it. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the cat-o-nine-tails and a little leather as long as it helps keep you and your partner’s love life exciting. Most people who practice these “methods” do not have a sex dungeon. That is crude at best and a ridiculous stereotyping at its worst. But I will go further than a Fifty Shades scenario. I think that most fetishes are perfectly harmless. Whether it be a foot fetish, an anime cosplay fetish, or a fetish where you like an earlobe massage. It does not mean that you like to smell people’s shoes or you can only have sex with someone dressed as a Pokémon or that you have to have your ear licked before you can “get in the mood”. I mean, there will always be outliers, but for most people it is just a little quirk about themselves that they only share with their true significant other and something that a few people never delve into at all. I think as long as all parties are agreed, then enjoy your fetish. Revel in the fact that we live in a place that allows every person to enjoy life the way they want, within reason. And for the love of Pete, stop reading books like Fifty Shades of Grey that only set up false expectations and perpetuate a gross stereotype. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Living in a Different Place

The other day, I helped a friend of mine move so that he could be closer to his work. He wasn’t moving that far away. Actually, we were able to load everything into a small moving truck and drive to the new address. As we were driving to the new location, we were talking about how much he always wanted to move to Hawaii and live. He said that it was his dream to become a resident of Hawaii (he always loved the beach, so it made sense). He said that he still has the dream, but right now, it just doesn’t look like it will be in the near future. All of this talk got me to thinking, why do we live where we do? Is it because it is close to a job? Is it because that is all we can afford right now? Is it because we are doing like the colonial days and just living near where our parents live? And if any of this is the actual answer, are we depriving ourselves of a place to live? The truth is, I think fear keeps us from doing what we want in our day-to-day lives and moving to a new home is no different. People are afraid of the unknown and if they do not have a previous experience with a location, they may not want to move there permanently out of fear that it won’t work out. I mean, it’s not like if it doesn’t work out you just pack up and move again. There may be certain repercussions to just bouncing like that. However, I also believe that sometimes we have to face our fears and do what makes us happy. I hope one day my friend is able to live in Hawaii. That way he can be happy and I will also have a place to crash if ever I should go to Hawaii. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Every Text Sounds Angry

In this world of digital media and dwindling stationary, there are many people who choose to only communicate through typing. For most people, they seem to have no trouble with it. They send a text or an email and move on, but for me it seems like no matter how I type the message out, it sounds angry. See, there is no context for the messages sometimes, and moreover, the person on the other end of the message cannot hear my inflections on certain words, so inevitably every message I send sounds angry. Now I don’t really worry about it that much. Most people who receive my messages might just think I am a very business-oriented person, which I am, who is only trying to get his point across and move on. However, when I am trying to text for leisure, like for “a nice time out on the town”, I do not want to sound like an asshole toward the particular person I want to see. They might get a little miffed and decide not to show up. And then again maybe its just me overthinking my texting ability. Maybe I am an excellent texter and every message reads like gold. Then again, maybe I am just a naturally angry person who has extreme trouble getting his point across and needs to find a therapist who specializes in texting in a kinder manner. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.