Dieting On Holidays

It’s that time of year again. The time of year for delicious foods and decadent treats for all to enjoy. The time of year where we all have that one relative that we have to hide those foods and treats from because they don’t want to be tempted. My response to those people is always the same. Why torture yourself during the holidays? With all the dinners, office parties, get-togethers, and shopping we have to do, it is not easy to stick to your dietary essentials and be happy at the same time. In fact, I believe it’s the reason Ebenezer was so miserable. He was trying to keep his miserly figure and everyone kept giving him gift baskets. I have a rule for the last three months of the year and it is simply: Why bother? I start about a week before Halloween. I go in knowing that I am going to overindulge. When I get done Trick-or-Treating and checking my haul for razor blades, I immediately start eating some of it, especially if there is a 3 Musketeers in the mix. Then comes Thanksgiving. I know there is no way I will be able to keep my wits with warm stuffing, sweet yams, buttery mashed potatoes, extra creamy green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie with extra whip cream on the top. Then I turn around twice and it’s Christmas. I start December 1^st with a cookie in my hand. By the end of Christmas, I will have gained at least 15 pounds and will proudly display it knowing that I fully enjoyed my holidays with gusto. In fact, I usually don’t stop until around February because New Year’s is basically a drinking game, which is more calories. Luckily I don’t have a lover, so I don’t have to worry about chocolates on Valentines, which is why I find it a good time to stop. So, this year, take my advice. Let’s all celebrate the birth of Christ by sinning our asses off by being major gluttons and being damn proud of it. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Office Bingo

Anyone who has worked in a white-collar field for even a minute will tell you that it can be the most soul-sucking, life draining, boring work on the planet, but somehow, every day, people survive it. How? A good sense of humor and a brain for passing time. You see, there are people who have been in an office setting for a while and they know that a little fun can go a long way in making payday arrive with less pain. For instance, a buddy of mine worked his way up to team lead at an office and every month he and his team had to attend a company-wide meeting. According to him, these meetings were so superfluous that you could literally play the last month’s meeting as a recording and you would not know the difference. So he decided to have a little fun with it. Every month, he would disperse a Bingo card full of events that could possibly happen during a meeting to his team and then as the meeting progressed they would have to mark off their squares. He said he got the idea from some Youtubers he watches. Unfortunately, some of the big wheels at the company got wind of it and made him stop, but I think it was a baller idea. For one, it really would help the time pass in a boring meeting if you had something to focus on besides your doodles or your hidden phone as you read Facebook. Moreover, in order to fill out the Bingo card, people actually had to pay attention to the meeting to see if any one particular square could be marked off. Heaven forbid, though, anyone having a little fun during an “important” meeting. I think work like that is a toxin that destroys the fun in people. It is not long before higher ups at an office begin to look like the pixies from The Fairly Odd Parents. Then once they reach full on Ben Stein voice, there is no way to not zone out in a meeting. So what is wrong with a little fun to make the time go by. Personally, I think all the up-tight losers of the world can stick it. I mean I am not saying we should all show up to work in a clown suit and pour water down each other’s pants, but a rubber snake in a desk drawer or some peanut butter in the paper clips, hell, even gift wrapping someone’s chair at Christmas time, can make a day at the office seem like a day at the fair. That not only makes the day go by quicker but it also can improve productivity. So have an office chair race, keep a betting pool at who will mess up first, and have a little fun. It may be surprising how nice the office becomes. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Having Scents While Being an Adult

At one time or another, someone else dictated what went on our bodies. Usually that would involve picking out our clothes for us, but they also dictated what we smelled like. As we got older, we generally found a style that worked for us and, for many, that style is still what is worn to this day, no matter how old. However, I think the decision of smells came with those choices as well. What I mean is, we also start to pick a scent that we want to smell like as an adult. Growing up most kids don’t think about scent too much, and, depending on what species of human you are, what you smelled like may not have mattered at all. For boys, it was a stink off until they reached the age where they realized their love interests preferred they smell good. For girls, it may have been the case that the newest perfumes by their favorite celebrity was what was important. However, by the time we reach adulthood, I think most adults find a preferred aroma that pleases them and sticks with it. Maybe it’s a coconut shampoo with a mint body wash and a nice smoky vanilla cologne or maybe it’s a strawberry hair spray with a misting of peaches and cream perfume. No matter what scent is chosen, I believe it is commonplace for an adult to pick the scents they want and not stray too far from that area. I say this because I find myself in this exact situation. I prefer certain scents over others and because of this I have been told that I have a signature scent. Personally, I think it is the sandalwood beard balm. I am also not saying this is the case for every person. For some, it may be a case of wearing what is cheapest. For others, they spritz on some of the newest bottle they received at Christmastime. Maybe one person likes a dozen different smells, so they have multiple scents. Just because you follow Tim Gunn’s rules of fashion doesn’t mean you have to make strict decisions on all your daily wears. Although, if you ask me, I think it is kind of nice to know that there could be a Jay Naus candle, and everyone would know exactly what it should smell like. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.