Destination…Expensive Wedding

I saw a news report today that said that destination weddings were at an all-time spike since before the pandemic. This particular news story provided the top three on the list of destination weddings in the U.S. Now, one would assume that the top three would be the most extravagant, luxurious places in all of America. Because, let’s be honest, if you are going to do a big wedding, you might as well do it right. However, while slots one and two were taken by Orlando and Vegas respectively, the number 3 was taken by Tulsa, Oklahoma. Why Tulsa, you ask? Because it is the cheapest place to have a wedding. Which really irked me. I thought the whole point of a destination wedding was to go all out and make it the most exuberant and outright expensive occasion, in a place where there is lots to do. I thought the idea was that the couple would be paying for the wedding for the next ten years, if the marriage lasted that long. If it didn’t, the bill would be part of the alimony. I guess I would just feel bad if my family and friends traveled all the way to my wedding, and then once the wedding was over, they just had to go back home. I mean if after my wedding they came home with a piece of apparel that said I flew all the way to a wedding and all I got was this crappy T-shirt, I think that would definitely weigh on their minds years down the road. My idea of a destination wedding is when everyone got back to their normal lives after being on vacation for a week and their coworkers asked what they did over that week, there would be a whole list of things that would be talked about, with the wedding being at the bottom of that list. I mean not that the wedding wouldn’t be enjoyable, but, come on, if I go all the way to a distant place for a wedding, I had better get a couple of fantastic photos and a few good meals, at the least. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Born Lucky or Lucky To Be Born

The other day the winner of the lottery was announced and a friend of mine was frustrated because he has played the lottery for years and has never won more than a couple of dollars. He said that some people have all the luck and that he had to be the unluckiest person in the world. I told him I did not believe in luck because any “luck” I had was due to immense preparation and lots of intestinal fortitude and that I thought everyone who seems lucky has done the same thing. For instance with the lottery scenario, how many lottery tickets did they buy in order to win. My friend buys one ticket a week, but most of the people who have won the lottery buy dozens a week. They, in essence, manufacture their luck. My friend just waved me off and said that I was a pessimist who did not believe in miracles. I couldn’t disagree, because I don’t believe in miracles. In fact, I think that people who sit around waiting for their ship to come in and pray and hope and pray some more are foolish because they could have been spending that time making things happen. Like with people who meet their soulmates and then have a friend who thinks they are just going to be walking through a coffee shop one day and find the perfect person. The soulmate was found through a lot of dating apps, a lot of dates, and looking around every corner. Or people who have gotten their dream jobs. They love going to work and everything about their jobs. It wasn’t pure happenstance. I can guarantee, that person worked hard every day. They hunted for months or years to find a workplace they could see themselves in and they methodically worked their way up until they finally made it to the job or position they desired. What I’m getting at is that people are not born lucky. Some people are lucky to be born and even without the same privilege, we all have the same opportunities to reach out and get what we want. It is just going to take a lot of grit, a lot of sweat, some heartache, a little knowledge, and very little horseshoes, clovers, or heads up pennies. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.

Food Geometry

Have you ever noticed that certain foods have certain shapes. It is something I call food geometry and I really do believe it exists. For instance, pies are circles, loaves of bread are rectangular prisms, Doritos are triangles, bananas are oblong, and apples are a sphere with a dent.  They are shapes we have come to admire in certain foods and I think the most relevant part of that is that a particular shape makes us feel a particular way. There is nothing better than getting a perfectly round orange, even if they are cute little Halos, because you know that orange is going to be delicious. And if you asked most people what shape foods should come in, they would respond with the shape they know to be most true for that given food. However, there are a few people who do not get the idea of food geometry and totally break the rules with their non-conformist anarchy. Pizza should be a circle cut into triangles or a quadrilateral cut into smaller quadrilaterals. It should not be cut in diagonal pieces. Sandwiches should be cut into triangles or half-squares. I don’t care how much crust you remove, you should never have a round or heart-shaped sandwich. It should always come as close to that triangle or half-square shape as possible. Do not mess with food geometry people. Demeter and Euclid might team up and beat the crap out of you if you do. Let us keep our food shapes without worry of experimentation. But that is just one man’s opinion. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I appreciate it. See you next time.